Silence the Voices

Been under a lot of stress the past couple of weeks. I mean, a lot. I won't go into detail as this blog is public, but there has been turmoil in my life. My husband, my friends, my family, have all been very supportive--but sometimes there's just nothing anyone can do. Nothing can fix it but time and opportunity. Even the book I was reading was stressing me out, it was so emotional. Sometimes it's just all more than you can handle.

One of the biggest disappointments has been that the stress has strangled my ability to write. I don't think I've written a word since my last blog post. It hasn't even been lack of time or energy, either. The story is on pause, the voices have stopped. And you know, you don't realize how quiet it is without them.

I had some time to recharge this week, though. I had the pleasure of seeing Tab Benoit perform again, at one of my favorite places, the Double Door. The show always blows me away, the sound is pure and raw, uplifting when you really need it. The audience is genuine and good natured, and it's all around fun. Always a privilege, we got to spend some time with Tab Benoit and bassist Corey Duplechin after the show. Talking and joking at the bar, just like regular people. That's what's so good about it. However, it is always disappointing when it's over, knowing it will be awhile before they come back to town. But at least I know when this time. July!!!!

So the story has turned back on a little, I just haven't been able to calm down enough to write anything yet. Sometimes life gets in the way. But we'll see how it all plays out, won't we? Until next time...

Where are the songs from the sane minds?
And where are words from the sound mouths?
I can't understand how they silence the voices.
-Chris Cornell

Positive Rejection

If you follow me on facebook, then you know that today I got my first response back from a publisher: pass.

You would probably consider that to be a big disappointment to me, and it probably would have been, had I not prepared myself for what an arduous journey this could possibly be. Also, the editor's friendliness and words of encouragement really helped to soften the blow.

So here's how I'm going to break it down:

Negatives:

• Today was really not a good day for finding out this kind of news, and I did have a brief moment of wanting to curl up in a ball and cry. Had it not come on such a day, I doubt I would have had any kind of negative reaction.
• This response came from the only publisher that I had received an actual confirmation from a human being that they were reading my manuscript. Which means I'm much more in the dark now than I was before.
• The simple fact of having my 'baby', my brainchild, be rejected.

Positives:

• Words from the editor [names were removed]: "Thank you for submitting your manuscript to [Publisher]. [Head Editor] thought this premise was highly intriguing and very fresh. It has a great setting and a fascinating cast of characters."
• The reason they decided to pass was highly subjective and another publisher/editor may not have the same concerns.
• The fact that they took the time to respond and give me feedback is a compliment in and of itself. That doesn't always happen.
• For a first submission from an unpublished and unrepresented writer, even getting a rejection with such positive feedback is more encouraging than disparaging.
  
• If it turns out I don't get any takers, the feedback lets me know that I do have something worth trying to self publish

All in all, I would consider this more success than failure. I was more freaked out by the fact that someone actually read my book, rather than the rejection itself.

This publisher actually has the shortest turn around time--8 to 12 weeks, and they got back to me at 8 weeks to the day--while most of the other publishers are anywhere from 10 to 16 weeks, which is well into March. Unfortunately, it is encouraged to wait the full amount of time before inquiring into the progress. I am still hopeful because I'll be honest and say that I have read worse books than mine.

Until next time, I'll leave you with this:

You might be in trouble
You might be running
But it's never too late to turn around
'cause as long as you're still breathing
There'll always be enough time
To make the right decision before you die, because
The choices you make might be mistakes
But it's never too late to turn around, turn around
The road that you take might lead you astray
But don't be afraid to turn around, turn around

-Jonny Lang, Turn Around

Excerpt Time!

Ok, folks, it's time for another excerpt from book number two. This one is about good ol' Ray again. Ray is actually a secondary character, but he plays a very important part. A lot of his mannerisms and euphemisms are modeled after my dear departed friend Ray Blackeagle. And for those who would seek to grammerize me (Mom), remember that these are excerpts from an unfinished--and unedited--manuscript. :)

Ray didn't move a muscle when he came to, with his arms and legs bound to a ladder back chair. Just kept his head hanging down limply, eyes closed. How the hell had he gotten here? Right, he'd been snatched by the crazy bitch and her two goombahs. And from the way his skull ached, he must have gotten clobbered something fierce.

He cracked his eyelids the tiniest bit to assess his surroundings. It was dark, the room illuminated only by a couple of flickering fluorescent lights. He appeared to be in an abandoned warehouse, furnished with nothing but a few chairs and a tool cabinet.

Somebody's been watching too much Law & Order, he thought. Unable to help himself, he tensed when he heard the distinct sound of high heels approaching. The sound got nearer and nearer until it stopped completely.

He could sense her in front of him, pure malice emanating from her in waves, nearly as tangible as the chair he sat in.

"I know you're awake, Raymonde," she said in a singsong voice, making him hate the sound of his given name rolling off her tongue.

No longer seeing any point in the pretense, he raised his head and glared at her. "What could you possibly want with me? I. Have. Nothing."

She chuckled as she paced in front of him, and the sound made his skin crawl. "The answer to that is very simple, I'm surprised you haven't figured it out already."

His fingers ghosted over the bindings on his wrists, searching for a loose end. Got to keep her talking. "By all means, enlighten me."

"I want my daughter, Raymonde, and you are going to tell me where she is."

"The hell I am."

That is all for now. I love that my tv has an ipod dock. Aaaaanywho, I'm still looking for an excerpt from book one that doesn't give anything away. It may have to be a really short one. Just for fun, here is my current playlist for book 2:

Old Crow Medicine Show - Highway Halo
Tab Benoit - Unknown Legend
Glee Cast - Blackbird (This scene made me squee!!)
Bush - Body
Matt Morris - 100,000 Strong & Bloodline
Justin Timberlake Ft. will.i.am - Damn Girl
Radiohead - Street Spirit
The Black Keys - Sinister Kid (That is Matthieu's theme song, he will be the main character in book 3)
Gavin Degraw - Sweeter, Not Over You & Run Every Time
Brandon Flowers - On The Floor & Crossfire
Kerli - Bullet Proof
Adele - Rumour Has It
Audioslave - I Am the Highway
Rihanna - Rockstar 101
Jonny Lang - Turn Around
Joe Bonamassa - Black Lung Heartache
Tokyo Hotel Ft. Kerli - Strange

Does that give you any plot clues? If you haven't checked out any of these songs/artists, you should. Until next time...

Onwards and Upwards - 35K+ on book number 2

Just wrote a killer scene today. Thanks Adele for writing Rumour Has It. Kept up my pace. It's hard to believe I'm a third of the way through the second book.

I'm keeping a playlist on my iphone for every time I run across a song that gets me thinking about a scene or one of my characters, or one that sets a good pace for writing. It will be interesting to see what all ends up on the playlist at the end. I did the same thing with the first one, I just didn't keep a list. I know better this time.

It's hard to believe it's only been 7 weeks since I submitted my manuscript to the first publisher. It feels like forever. Most of the "deadlines" are well into February, but would it kill them to give me an update?

I've been searching for an excerpt to post from my first book but, as of yet I haven't been able to find one that doesn't reveal the genre or major plot events. My mom asked me if it was a mystery, a drama, a love story, a thriller, etc. My answer was yes. Does that give anyone a clue? :)

There have been some interesting developments in other parts of my life... can't really reveal anything yet, but stay tuned (no I'm not pregnant). Until next time.

How About an Excerpt?

I thought I would post a series of a few excerpts just for fun. They will most likely not give away any plot details or clues to the subject matter, so it will just be a big tease. :) So here is an excerpt from my second story:

Ray took a long, deep breath of the dry desert air. The first true fresh air he'd had in three years. Because it was his second strike, he'd gotten the max--five--but good behavior had gotten him early parole.

He had done a lot of work on himself on the inside this time, getting clean, seeing a counselor. Hell, he'd even got an associates degree in business. Go figure. He was determined to make it stick this time.

Of course, he'd already lost the most important thing in his life. His daughter. Raven had taken off when he was hauled in the first time. She'd been fifteen, young and jaded, tired of being disappointed every time he failed to sober up.

He'd always wondered where CPS got off, dumping an innocent four year old on a twenty five year old alcoholic con artist. Yeah, he hadn't had a record, 'cept for that stint in Saint Bernard Parish Juvenile Detention Center, of course.

Maybe they truly were underfunded enough to dump any kid on an available parent, that they didn't research him enough. God, he loved her, but the poor kid hadn't stood a chance. Maybe if they'd told him about her ahead of time, given him a chance to get sober, find a legit job, he might have made a halfway decent father.

Well, if wishes were horses then beggars would ride, as the saying went. So he'd raised her the best he knew how. It was no small wonder she didn't run away before she did. They'd kept in touch, and once she partnered up with Stiles and Nash and started the company, he was kept updated on her life.

But after the second time he as arrested, the calls slowed to almost nonexistent, the visits stopped. She never visited him in prison. He didn't blame her. He didn't want the stink of his incarceration to taint her.

So, yeah, he was determined to make it stick this time.

Hope y'all enjoyed that little bit. Until next time.

Don't Talk To Me About Rejection

I'm sitting here, waiting for a plane to take me to Iowa for Christmas. So this is as good a time as any to get back on the blogging bandwagon. Many of you know that I have finished my first full manuscript and have submitted it to several different publishers for review.

There are many different ways to go about this process, and everyone seems to have their opinion about which one is the 'correct' way. I weighed my options very carefully and agonized over which path would have the least margin for rejection, while not costing me more than I would ever make on the book.

I'll start by saying that I am not doing this to make money. Being able to make a living writing would be a dream come true, but it is most certainly not a given. I'm doing this for the thrill of seeing my stories lining the shelves of the bookstores, on the lists on Amazon and Goodreads, and to join the wonderful and welcoming community that is the Literary World.

I have received wonderful advice already from authors Larissa Ione and Kiersten Fay, who are very gracious about staying connected and interacting with their readers. It is the way I would hope to be, should I ever become successful in this.

When I researched the publishing process, I found many helpful articles and commentary but the majority of the subject matter seemed to be rejection: How to handle your first rejection letter, what to do when you fail, what to do if reviewers hate your book. All along those lines.

It is because of this, that I eventually decided to stay away from that kind of information, and from the 'traditional' process of manuscript submission. I know having my novel published is a long shot. I know that the journey to publication has been arduous and fraught with trials for many people.

I know this just as sure as I know that I never do anything the way I'm supposed to. Who's to say that I won't be successful in my own quirky way of doing things.

So I've decided to ignore all the voices and opinions that tell me what will probably happen, because I want to focus on what could happen.

So don't talk to me about rejection....

Bucket List - episode one

Life is short and I ain't getting any younger. So I've started working on my bucket list... Not that I have a list, per se... I'm just adding things to it as I go.

I've already done a few things that I wanted to do before I die, including visit several different countries, and meet my favorite musicians,

I'm working on two of my big ones right now, and they sort of relate to each other in a weird way. The first is writing a book-hopefully more than one, but it's a start. I'm actually almost done with the first draft, so I am actually going to focus on the second thing.

Ghost hunting. Or the more pc 'paranormal investigating'. Don't want to make a career out of it, but definitely a hobby. I wouldn't be doing it to prove to myself that ghosts exist-I already know they do from my own experiences.

It's more about validating those experiences, and searching for the unknown and unseen. It is also a way to confront my own personal fears.

Am I afraid of ghosts? Absolutely not. What I do have a fear of is leaving my back open an unguarded. If you know me, you'd know that I don't like to sit with my back to a room, and if there's no choice, I will always choose the seat facing the most people.

So being locked down in a dark building pricks at that fear, because in the dark, your back is always unguarded-unless you're up against a wall. So that will be hard for me, ghosts or no.

So, you might ask, how is someone who is as jumpy as a jackrabbit around human beings going to go on a ghost hunt? Good question. I have to figure out how to disengage that fight or flight response that kicks in when my back is exposed. It will be a challenge.

This will sound crazy to most people but it is something I've always been interested in. It will also double as book research, as my story has paranormal themes.

I have found a local paranormal group that has agreed to let me tag along on an investigation after a meeting to make sure I'm truly serious [sane] about it.

I'll keep everyone updated!