Did someone say excerpt?

I've finally had time to look for it, so here it is, folks. The long awaited excerpt from #1. I searched for a piece that is interesting enough to post, yet doesn't give away much of the plot, genre, or characterization. All you really find out for sure is three of the characters' names. But are they the main characters? I'll never tell.

-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
This excerpt is rated R for light profanity. If you will be offended by it (Mom, et. al.) do not read it. I won't be responding to comments about language. That said, I hope you enjoy it, and yet you remain in the dark about any important details!
-
-
-
-

Jeremiah poured himself a cup of coffee from the carafe in the main room of the police station. Looking down into his cup, he blinked in horror at the black, oily swill. So the cliché of bad PD coffee was true, he thought. Damned if he didn’t doctor it up and drink it anyway.

He had been pacing the dirty brown, low-pile carpet for nearly half an hour, all the while glaring daggers at the various officers seated at their desks. “Chief got held up,” they had said. Bullshit. Jeremiah knew that they had left Isla twisting in the wind to try and scare her into giving something up. Problem was, there was nothing to give up.

All it was really going to do was piss her off and make her less cooperative. He could practically feel her energy simmering across his skin. He wondered that the officers couldn’t feel it too.

He turned his head at the perfect moment to catch sight of Isla’s falsely angelic smile fill the closed circuit monitor. As quickly as that happened, the feed snowed out and switched off. And the wires running to the monitor sparked, just for good measure.

Cursing under his breath, Jere looked around to see if anyone saw what happened. A tubby officer got up from his desk to slap the monitor a couple of times, then shrugged and sat back down. Thank fuck he didn’t make any connection with the woman in the room. Keep it together, Isla, he thought.

Finally, Chief Sinclair emerged from his office looking grim. He nodded to Jeremiah, but said nothing as he made his way down the hall to the interrogation room. As the Chief disappeared behind the beat up metal door, Jeremiah clenched his fists and resumed pacing. This was not going well.

I submitted queries to two more agents tonight. We'll see what comes of that. Until next time, little darlings.

The Reader's Trance

Now that I am getting into the descriptive part of my book, I am trying to study other authors’ writing styles to see how they handle introducing descriptions of their characters and the surroundings. However, I find that I cannot just read the words and analyze the writing style. I keep trying to do so, but almost immediately I get caught up in the story and basically trance the f—k out! It is a great ability to have as it makes the story come alive, and it makes reading almost the same as watching tv or movies for me. I am not sure if this is something that happens in my own brain—or more generally the reader’s brain—or if I am an anomaly. Maybe I am an anomaly because of my seeming lack of the ability to choose to just read the words on the page. Or is it just the mark of a good author? I’m not sure. There have been times when I have been reading a book that I know isn’t written as well, I still see it in my head but the picture seems thinner with more holes in it. It’s hard to explain. I still trance out into the story but I have to fill in a lot more from my own imagination.

I love that I have that ability. It happens when I read, when I’m trying to fall asleep, when I am doing some monotonous activity like driving or riding in the car. It especially happens when I am listening to music and driving. That’s often how I create my own stories. Unfortunately, so far I haven’t been able to make it happen while actually writing. My deficit comes in transferring what I see in my head to words on the page that will create similar pictures in the mind of a reader. Sounds complicated, right?

So that is why I wanted to study the way other authors handle description. Not to copy anything or get ideas, but just to see how they create that response in me. What I need to do is read the first book of a new series by an author I know already is able to create that kind of reaction with me, and see how the characterization and world building are handled. Luckily for me, both Larissa Ione and Jacquelyn Frank have started new series. Now I will have to figure out a way to read the words and analyze them instead of trancing out. I may have to reread each chapter before I go on. So my biggest issue will be finding time to read, write, work, run agility, spend time with my neglected husband, and all of the other activities I like to partake in.

Once I get closer to finishing, I will create an author fan page. I am determined to be successful in this because I enjoy making up stories and it’s about time I tried my hand at doing it professionally. This is sort of putting the cart before the horse, but I’m thinking of writing under my maiden name because it is much less common. Plus, if people google Kristen Davis they are just going to get a bunch of stuff about that Sex and the City chick. What do y’all think? Coming soon: Plotting vs. Pantsing, Left Brain vs. Right Brain. Can they work together?