Let's talk about...

Let’s talk about getting older. My dearest darling husband—who doesn’t read my blog, therefore will never see this—rejoices in the fact that for 19 days out of the year, he is two years younger than me.

I know that should probably bother me, but it really doesn’t. I’m not too concerned about getting older. It happens. So does turning thirty this weekend freak me out? Not really. What freaks me out is life in general, and how we have no control over anything.

We can really only control what we do and how we react to things, but that doesn’t necessarily have any impact on what will actually happen. If, like me, you don’t believe in predestination, everything is simply up in the air, completely left up to chance, to God, to whatever you believe. Anything but your own will.

That can be kind of scary. Will you find a job? Will you be liked and get hired by someone? Does someone like your resume? Your personality? Do they hate your hair or your clothes, and will that influence their decision about what happens in your life?

Will you have a child? Can you have a child? Will someone like your idea, your writing, your artwork, your—fill in talent here—? I find it astounding how many times another person, a stranger, holds your fate in their hands, and will never know how that affects your life. Hell, they’ll never know how it affects their life, even.

Can you tell I’m getting a little frustrated? It seems like no matter how hard you work, how well you prepare, how good a job you do, it most often comes down to someone else’s decision. That is a hard thing to deal with, constantly waiting for that call or email that could change your life or, at least, your immediate future.

So at 12:30ish a.m. on Sunday, I will turn thirty, and that is just fine with me. J Until next time, I leave you with my updated playlist for book number 2:

Old Crow Medicine Show - Highway Halo

Tab Benoit - Unknown Legend

Glee Cast - Blackbird

Bush - Body

Matt Morris - 100,000 Strong & Bloodline

Justin Timberlake Ft. will.i.am - Damn Girl

Radiohead - Street Spirit

The Black Keys - Sinister Kid (That is Matthieu's theme song, he will be the main character in book 3)

Gavin Degraw - Sweeter, Not Over You & Run Every Time

Brandon Flowers - On The Floor & Crossfire

Kerli - Bullet Proof

Adele - Rumour Has It

Audioslave - I Am the Highway

Rihanna - Rockstar 101, Russian Roulette

Jonny Lang - Turn Around

Joe Bonamassa - Black Lung Heartache

Tokyo Hotel Ft. Kerli – Strange

Eminem – Love the Way You Lie

Kerli – Creepshow

Billy Currington – Heal Me

Pearl Jam – Even Flow